


be as you’ve always been

by Rivran



Series: hear that bell ringing (but won't get the door) [4]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Alpha Centauri (Good Omens), Dialogue Heavy, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Rated teen for language, Social Media, hand wavey space travel, i kinda lost the plot on this one sorry, no beta we die like men, they are soft, this is what happens when i write at three am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:49:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27723068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivran/pseuds/Rivran
Summary: “Okay, fine, no customers,” Crowley relented. “How scared do you want them?”The angel smiled. “I don’t feel like burying any bodies today, my dear boy. Be nice?”“I’m never nice,” Crowley said over his shoulder. He sized up the customer as he approached the front of the shop. The girl had a fish keychain dangling from her bag, a crucifix pendant around her neck, and a bottle of water in her hands. She was glaring at one of Aziraphale’s misprint Bibles like it was about to catch fire.This will be a fun one, he thought.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: hear that bell ringing (but won't get the door) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2017918
Comments: 9
Kudos: 102





	be as you’ve always been

**Author's Note:**

> this fic uses fanatically religious people as a plot device and some brief homophobic language - if that kind of thing makes you uncomfortable, this probably isn’t the fic for you lol  
> enjoy :)

“Crowley, dearest?”

Crowley’s head popped up over the arm of the chair he’d been basking in. “What?”

“The bell rang, didn’t you hear it? I’m afraid we have customers. Could you deal with them, please? This is a rather sensitive project, and I’d prefer not to leave it alone.” He gestured to the half-assembled book on his desk.

“I was in the middle of something too,” he complained. “The one day a decade we get proper sunlight in here and you want me to go talk to people?”

“If you don’t fend them off, then they might want to purchase things.” Aziraphale shuddered.

“Okay, fine, no customers,” Crowley relented. “How scared do you want them?”

The angel smiled. “I don’t feel like burying any bodies today, my dear boy. Be nice?”

“I’m never nice,” Crowley said over his shoulder. He sized up the customer as he approached the front of the shop. The girl had a fish keychain dangling from her bag, a crucifix pendant around her neck, and a bottle of water in her hands. She was glaring at one of Aziraphale’s misprint Bibles like it was about to catch fire. _This will be a fun one_ , he thought.

“Excuse me,” she said, rounding on Crowley. “Did you know these are sacrilegious books?”

 _And of course it’s an American. Wonderful._ “No, really?” he said innocently.

“Well,” she huffed, “no store should even have these on display. As a museum piece, maybe, but they’re absolutely heretical! Imagine the damage they could do in the wrong hands!” She eyed him, twisting the cap back and forth on her water bottle. “But perhaps someone like you is unfamiliar with the word of God?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that. But lucky for you, this shop doesn’t sell anything _dangerous_ ,” he drawled. “Doesn’t sell anything at all, really. If you’re going to insult the collection, you should probably just leave.” He glared at her through his sunglasses.

She stared at him, analyzing his appearance. Crowley generally did his best to blend in, but some humans could always see a tiny bit through the disguise. The girl’s eyes widened.

“Begone, demon!” she screeched. The bottle’s lid went flying, the contents following not far behind.

 _Oh fuck, not the books_ , he thought.

Icy water soaked through Crowley’s clothes. The holy energy slammed into him like a brick crashing through a window. The cold burned. Steam waved from the wet patches on his jacket as the holy water worked to turn him into so much demonic sludge on the ground.

“Foul fiend,” she hissed.

A loud crash had pulled Aziraphale away from his repair work. “Really, Crowley, what is going on out here?” he called, then stopped in his tracks. The angel watched in silent horror as the holy water dissolved Crowley’s body away.

That is to say, it tried to. His clothing burned, but the skin underneath kept on stubbornly existing. It had turned red where the water had touched it directly, but the marks were already fading away like nothing had ever happened.

Aziraphale turned to the girl. The bottle in her hands still lit up with a faint trace of holy energy. “What the Hell do you think you’re doing?” he snapped.

“You should be grateful,” the girl spat. “That demon was dangerous!”

“No, he isn’t! What had he done to you?”

She spluttered. “I – wh- it’s a demon!”

“Oh, I am done with these narrow-minded murder attempts. Are you sure you’re not an agent sent by Heaven?” He looked her over and shook his head. “No, just another misguided mortal.” 1

The girl took a step back. Her gift of sight filled in Aziraphale’s heavenly aura. “Oh, good Lord,” she whispered. “You’re an angel.”

“Oh, _don’t_ bring Her into this,” he said. “You seem to know the Bible very well. You must know what angels do when we are angry, yes?”

The girl’s face went whiter than the pages of the Bible she’d been angrily flipping through.

“Get out of my shop,” said Aziraphale.

She got out of the shop.

By some unfortunate miracle, her phone lit up with a notification the instant she left the shop. She clicked on the video.

 _Those angel videos: are they for real? A full analysis_ , read the title. The thumbnail was a clear photo of the same beings she’d met in the bookshop. A chill ran up her spine. She tapped out a quick reply while she walked.

_Oh my gosh, I just met these things!! The one in black clothes is a demon. I saw it! I even tried to kill it with my holy water. But the one in the light clothes got super mad at me, even though I was doing him a huge favor. He’s totally an angel though, I felt the fear of God and everything!!_

Crowley’s senses returned to him one by one. The acrid smell of burned fabric cut through the mental haze. Something was rubbing soothing circles on his back. “That’s it, dear, it’s all right, you’re okay,” muttered a quiet voice. Crowley cracked open an eye he hadn’t realized he’d closed. His face was shoved into a soft expanse of fabric.

“Aziraphale?”

“Crowley!” The sheer relief in the voice nearly knocked him over again. “Oh, my dear boy, you had me worried for a moment there. Are you feeling all right?”

“Feels like I got kicked in the chest by a horse,” he grumbled. “And that’s not a feeling I want to relive. But yeah, m’fine.” Crowley leaned back and squinted at the angel. His sunglasses were missing. The world was so much brighter than he was used to.

“Angel,” he said slowly. “Are you glowing?”

Aziraphale blushed. “Sorry, my dear, I got a bit carried away with the whole divine anger show. Though it did work to get rid of that woman,” he said with a small smile.

“What, did you threaten to smite her or something?”

“Not exactly,” said the angel. “I merely suggested she might face Heavenly wrath for her thoughtless actions.”

Crowley paused, thinking. “Oh, shit, she didn’t get water on the books, did she?”

“The books – _no_ , my dear.”

“If it wasn’t the books, then what? I’ve never seen you that angry about anything, I think.” _Armageddon hardly counted_ , he thought.

“She tried to kill you, Crowley! I heard the crash when you fell, and I saw the water burning you. I didn’t know if you were still here.”

“I’m fine, angel,” he said, a little desperately. He did _not_ want to think about the burning bookshop right now.

“Yes, I know that _now_ ,” said Aziraphale. “But for a moment, I thought…” His face cracked. Distress painted itself across his features. “Well, I assumed the worst. I’m sure you understand.”

Crowley made a noise that barely registered as speech and pulled Aziraphale even tighter. “M’sorry, angel,” he said into the other’s shoulder.

“Oh, dearest,” said Aziraphale, shifting to steady the demon in his arms. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

“No, I guess not,” he said, grinning. He relaxed a bit. “That was one Hell of a miracle you pulled, though. I mean, there wasn’t much holy water there, but it should have burned the shit out of me. Dunno how you did that.”

“I thought that was you,” said Aziraphale, confused. “I couldn’t sense any holiness, so I assumed you were playing it up to scare that girl. This was after I was done panicking, of course.”

“That does sound like something I would do. But no, it was definitely holy.” Crowley stared down at the carbonized sections of his jeans. “How am I not dead?”

The angel looked at him with an expression Crowley wished he didn't recognize. “It’s…”

“Don’t say it.”

“…ineffable,” he completed.

Crowley glared at him, though the effect was ruined by the half-smile stuck on his face. “I hate you, angel,” he said.

Aziraphale smiled. “I love you too, dear.”

Crowley decided he had earned a nice, long nap in the sun. He settled deep into the cushions of his favourite chair.

 _Ding_ , went his phone from the opposite side of the room.

He ignored it. It wasn’t Aziraphale, so it wasn’t important.

 _Ding ding_ , it went again.

“What was that?” asked the angel.

“Just my stupid phone,” Crowley answered from his pile of chair. “S’not important.”

“Oh, it’s a photograph.”

“Did you just turn on my phone?”

“Yes, sorry. I should have asked first.”

“Not that, you know I don’t care. I just…” he trailed off.

“Just what, dear?”

“I didn’t think you knew how to do that,” he admitted.

“Really,” said Aziraphale. “I’m not that illiterate, you know.”

Crowley muttered something unintelligible into the cushions. He stuck out a hand for his phone. “What’s it a picture of?”

“It almost looks like us,” Aziraphale said, squinting at the screen.

“What?” He took his phone back. “Oh, it’s from that kid that summoned me.”

 _and I thought you were done doing magic shit in public_ , read the text. The picture was a video thumbnail that did look an awful lot like them. He scanned the attached tweet, something about a girl who tried to kill a demon?

The pieces started to put themselves together.

“Oh,” said Crowley. “This isn’t good.”

> **Charitee #GiveThanks** @chariteeneverfaileth
> 
> Y’all heard about the demon in London, right?? There has to be something we can do about this!! Prayer campaign or something, maybe?
> 
> **Isaiah** @yousaiah
> 
> Chill, that guy’s been around for as long as anyone can remember. He isn’t harming anybody
> 
> **Charitee #GiveThanks** @chariteeneverfaileth
> 
> It’s a demon! A real, actual demon! It’s probably corrupting people as we speak
> 
> **Isaiah** @yousaiah
> 
> I really don’t think so. He’s a normal dude just trying to live his best (eternal) life
> 
> **Charitee #GiveThanks** @chariteeneverfaileth
> 
> Don’t humanise it, it’s a demon. You’re probably one of its servants and you don’t even know it
> 
> **Isaiah** @yousaiah
> 
> Um, yikes. Just bc I’m gay doesn’t mean I worship the devil lol. Seriously though you lot need to calm down before you do something insane
> 
> **Charitee #GiveThanks** @chariteeneverfaileth
> 
> You say to leave the demon alone, but you just admitted to homosexuality!! That proves you serve the devil
> 
> **Isaiah** @yousaiah
> 
> Okay wow I’m definitely blocking you! If you’re a troll, get a fucking life. And if you’re not a troll, you still need to get a fucking life

"Humans,” complained Aziraphale. “They can be so rude.” 

“Can we miracle the memories away?”

“No, it’s been public for too long. It would be far too much work, even for us.”

“Shit. We really let this one get away from us.”

“You could have stopped it that first day, you know,” Aziraphale reminded him.

“Yes, I know, we’ve been over this. I didn’t think it would get this far.” He sat back in his chair. “So what should we do?”

“We can’t change anything important. Do you suppose we should just stay inside until they forget?”

“How long d’you think that would take? Because I think I’d lose it before they forgot. My flat’s not that interesting.”

“Well,” said the angel, “there’s always Alpha Centauri.”

“This is so much better than America, dear,” the angel said. The surface of Proxima Centauri b was filled with greenery that seemed to welcome them as they landed. Without the sounds of civilization, quiet blanketed the landscape. The plants rustled in a gentle breeze. Dirt and leaves crunched softly underfoot as they walked together.

Crowley’s phone rang. He scowled at it, but he answered anyway. He could ignore Jordan, but they wouldn’t leave him alone unless he responded.

“I’m busy,” he said without preamble.

“Hello to you too, you old bitch,” came the voice from the other end of the line. “Listen, I have news you might like. You and the angel dropped off the face of the earth and conspiracy twitter is going absolutely hog wild.”

“I wouldn’t say we _dropped_ off the face of the earth,” he quipped.

“It’s just a figure of speech. Anyway, where are you? Abbi and I have been arguing and we need you to settle it.”

“You can just ask me questions without framing it as a bet, you know.”

“Yeah, but you’d never give me a real answer. So, again, where?”

“Alpha Centauri,” he said.

“Fuck off,” they replied.

“It’s true,” he insisted.

“How the hell did you get to Alpha Centauri?”

“We flew, obviously. And technically, we’re on Proxima Centauri b, if that makes you feel any better.”

“Forgive me if I don’t believe you. Proxima B is uninhabitable, and you can’t fly to Alpha Centauri in two days. It’s not possible.”

“I do a lot of impossible things, human.”

“Sure, Jan.”

“Well, thanks for letting me know the other humans are still theorizing. That definitely makes me feel better about going on holiday.”  
The phone snorted. “Only you would go on vacation to a different goddamn star system, you dramatic asshole. Send me pictures.”

“Absolutely not,” said Crowley, who was already scanning the area for the best-looking plants.

“I’ll keep you updated on the conspiracies,” they promised. “Talk to you later.”

“Thanks. Bye.” _Click_.

“The rumor mill is alive and well, I assume?” asked Aziraphale.

“Always has been, always will be. Apparently there’s conspiracy theories about us.”

“Oh, how fun! Something creative, I hope.”

“We’ll find out eventually. I don’t think I could shake that kid off if I wanted to.”

Aziraphale smiled. “I’m glad to hear you’re making friends, dear.”

“Mm. Sure.” Crowley turned slightly pink. 2 “Should we go inside?” he said, gesturing to the greenhouse they had slowly been approaching.

The inside of the greenhouse was pleasantly cool. 3 The space was reminiscent of Crowley’s flat, if the plants and living areas had been concentrated into one room.

Crowley held out a bottle. “Wine?”

“Yes, thank you. I thought you’d never ask.”

They sat in comfortable silence and drank. The Proxima sunset was a brilliant display, lighting the sky up with greens and blues the Earth could only dream of.

“It’s blue,” Aziraphale noted.

“It’s the hydrogen and helium in the atmosphere,” Crowley explained. “On Earth, all the nitrogen in the air absorbs the blue light and reflects red at sunset. But here, the stuff in the air is different. It absorbs the red and reflects blue and green. It’s nothing like we ever get on Earth.” He smiled absently at the fading star. "I put a lot of work into this one, you know." 

“Beautiful,” he said, though all he could see was Crowley.

* * *

1\. Some facts he also learned in that moment: her name was Charitee Jensen, she was nineteen years old, she had been raised by atheist parents, and she had turned to religious fanaticism after a childhood friend converted her. He would have felt guilty about yelling at her if he wasn't so busy worrying that Crowley was dying. [ ▲ ]

2\. It was terribly embarrassing for a demon to be accused of making friends. Even if he was retired. [ ▲ ]

3\. This is not how a greenhouse works, but Crowley didn't know that, so the greenhouse didn't care. [ ▲ ]

**Author's Note:**

> as always, thank you all so much for reading!! 
> 
> the idea that crowley has a secret hidey hole on Alpha Centauri isn't original, but i cannot for the life of me remember where i saw it first. if you know the fic, please let me know so i can credit it! 
> 
> i’ve been absolutely floored by the responses to my last couple fics. seriously y’all have no idea how amazing it is to know that people actually like my writing. ily all


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